Every time I hear of a loss to substance use, my heart breaks a little more. Another family shattered. Forever grieving the loss of dreams and celebrations.
It brings me back to that moment in the ICU and still in shock, I looked at the social worker with a little indignation, “Did I want thumb prints of son?” “Thumbprints to bring to family events in the future “ she said. NO …I mean “Yes I’ll take the thumbprints” but, NO!! I want my son to be there at these “Graduations and Weddings” of the future. What the h** is a set of ceramics going to do for me, no..thank you. I want Sean there, happy, sober and healthy. Happy, joyous and free-just what the I thought rehab promised (and it does happen for many people).
Families suffer not just the loss of their child but, the stigma surrounding substance use compounds the loss. For many of us, the loss comes after suffering in silence for many years.
Sadly, that is the reality that I experienced, just 5 years ago. We haven’t made much progress. It’s not like a cancer death.
Don’t misunderstand, I know if someone with cancer were told they could survive if they didn’t drink alcohol or take oxy they would absolutely stick to the prescribed regimen. I have every wish for people to live cancer free. Substance use messes with your brain. It’s the brain disease that wants you to die, to fight everyday against your own self. “You don’t deserve to live” “You’re just a bad egg” all words Sean told me about himself.
People with substance use fight every day to get healthy, it’s a momentous battle. Sean cried just days before he died “It’s just so hard, Mom” with tears streaming down his face. I tried to take him to treatment that Thursday. He didn’t want to miss work, he didn’t want to let his coworkers down. He was dead 5 days later. Fighting a battle no one could see.
There is family help available. I recommend Team Sharing, if you have lost a child who struggled with substance use.
If you have a child struggling, think about Magnolia Addiction Support.
This Thanksgiving has been different. It is the first Thanksgiving I have spent away from my son Ned. I had a COVID test pending due to an exposure and didn’t feel it was safe for him to come home. Luckily, the test came back negative a few days later. So, I was left to with time to reflect on some years in the past.
There was the Thanksgiving, I spent the day on the phone with Sean, unable to get him into treatment and he spent the holiday in jail. I spent the day before all day with the insurance company and couldn’t get approval for treatment in time to get him out. Then, there was the year we spent away from him as he was in treatment, only to have him get into trouble and get kicked out the very next day.
Interestingly, my favorite was year was at a treatment center that felt more like home to me. Ned, Tim and I flew out to be with Sean. We all gathered at the men’s house and had an amazing dinner with other kids and their families. What was astounded to me was the laughter. People enjoying the company of their loved ones. Most family visits I remember had tears and drama, we had just a few hours to have very tough conversations. This time we had a joyful event to share and no hard decision talk. We could just be a family. Of course, we were all confident of the bright future our children had on the road to lasting recovery. The magical thinking that overcomes every parent when their child enters treatment, this will be the time. Surely, they have reached their bottom. They will succeed and we will all live happily after. Sometimes the dream comes true. Don’t give up hope.
This site is devoted to improving treatment of mental health in honor of Sean Blake. He was a young man who loved kindness. A poet, writer and chef. He gave gifts of stories, letters and recipes. Sean showed his love by cooking for family, friends and strangers alike. You may have seen him reading palms on Church St. in Burlington, VT. He touched many lives with his wit, charisma and love of life.
The site is maintained by Sean’ s family. We hope to show that Sean was more than his disease. We share our stories and many stories of families affected by substance use disorder. We hope there will be less stigma and shame with mental illness and substance use disorder. We hope to raise awareness of the dangers of opiates and risk of death from their use. We advocate for compassionate treatment and harm reduction. We hope to show healing and growth in our recovery from his death.
As anyone reading this can understand, Sean wanted to live, he wanted sobriety. It takes only one moment of weakness with an opiate to cause serious consequences.
Sean died at age 27 from an overdose of alcohol and fentanyl, combined with marijuana.
BILL AS INTRODUCED S.58 2023 Page 2 of 4 VT LEG #366653 v.1 1 It is hereby enacted by the General Assembly of the State of Vermont: 2 Sec. 1. 18 V.S.A. § 4201 is amended to read: 3 § 4201. DEFINITIONS 4 * * * 5 (45) “Fentanyl” means fentanyl or any compound, mixture, or 6 preparation including salts, isomers, or salts of isomers containing fentanyl or 7 fentanyl-related substances as defined by rule in accordance with this chapter. 8 (46) “Knowingly” means actual knowledge that one or more 9 preparations, compounds, mixtures, or substances contains the regulated drug 10 identified in the applicable section of this chapter, or consciously ignoring a 11 substantial risk that one or more preparations, compounds, mixtures, or 12 substances contains the regulated drug identified in the applicable section of 13 this chapter. 14 Sec. 2. 18 V.S.A. § 4238 is amended: 15 § 4238. SECOND AND SUBSEQUENT OFFENSES 16 (a) Penalty. A Except as provided in subsection (b) of this section, a 17 person convicted of a second or subsequent offense of violating section 4228, 18 4230, 4231, 4232, 4233, 4234, 4235, 4236 or 4237 of this title, except a 19 violation of subdivision 4230(a)(1), or a comparable offense in another 20 jurisdiction of the United States, shall be subject to a term of imprisonment or 21 fined up to twice that authorized by those sections, or both. BILL AS INTRODUCED S.58 2023 Page 3 of 4 VT LEG #366653 v.1 1 (b) Trafficking. 2 (1) A person convicted of a second or subsequent offense for trafficking 3 a regulated drug in violation of subsection 4230(c), 4231(c), 4233(c), 4 4233a(b), or 4234a(c) of this title, or a comparable offense in another 5 jurisdiction of the United States, shall be imprisoned not less than three years 6 and not more than 30 years or fined not more than $2,000,000.00, or both. 7 (2) Except as provided in subdivision (3) of this subsection, the three8 year minimum term of imprisonment required by this section shall be served 9 and may not be suspended, deferred, or served as a supervised sentence. The 10 defendant shall not be eligible for probation, parole, furlough, or any other type 11 of early release until the expiration of the three-year term of imprisonment. 12 (3) Notwithstanding subdivision (2) of this subsection, the court may 13 impose a sentence that does not include a term of imprisonment or that 14 includes a term of imprisonment of less than three years if the court makes 15 written findings on the record that such a sentence will serve the interests of 16 justice. 17 Sec. 3. 18 V.S.A. § 4250 is amended to read: 18 § 4250. SELLING OR DISPENSING A REGULATED DRUG WITH 19 DEATH RESULTING 20 (a) If the death of a person results from the selling or dispensing of a 21 regulated drug to the person in violation of this chapter, the person convicted BILL AS INTRODUCED S.58 2023 Page 4 of 4 VT LEG #366653 v.1 1 of the violation shall be imprisoned not less than two years nor more than 20 2 years. 3 (b) This section shall apply only if the person’s use of the regulated drug is 4 the proximate cause of his or her the person’s death. The fact that a dispensed 5 or sold substance contains more than one regulated drug shall not be a defense 6 under this section if the proximate cause of death is the use of the dispensed or 7 sold substance containing more than one regulated drug. There shall be a 8 permissive inference that the proximate cause of death is the person’s use of 9 the regulated drug if the regulated drug contains fentanyl. 10 (c)(1) Except as provided in subdivision (2) of this subsection, the two-year 11 minimum term of imprisonment required by this section shall be served and 12 may not be suspended, deferred, or served as a supervised sentence. The 13 defendant shall not be eligible for probation, parole, furlough, or any other type 14 of early release until the expiration of the two-year term of imprisonment. 15 (2) Notwithstanding subdivision (1) of this subsection, the court may 16 impose a sentence that does not include a term of imprisonment or that 17 includes a term of imprisonment of less than two years if the court makes 18 written findings on the record that the sentence will serve the interests of 19 justice. 20 Sec. 4. EFFECTIVE DATE 21 This act shall take effect on July 1, 2023
I have recently read the draft for S.58. I am very concerned that this legislation will negatively impact those with substance use disorder and mental health challenges. I am a board-certified Addiction Medicine physician. I treat people every day in recovery from substance use. Many of my patients have in the past used substances and sometimes gave substances to others. So many faced with substance use, deal to support their own use. I have seen the devastation a person feels if someone has overdosed on a substance that was given to them. There is enough shame already, that shame and feelings of responsibility hamper efforts to maintain recovery. We don’t need to bring this to a legal punishment. We know our jails are overwhelmed and offer little to no treatment for substance use.
I understand, as well, as a parent of a child who died from overdose, the knee jerk reaction to wanting someone to be held responsible for your child’s death. This feeling is often present in parents in the early stages of grief. It is a reaction to the loss and a desire for accountability. I know that the person who gave my son a fatal amount of fentanyl, likely suffers significant remorse. With fentanyl (as it is routinely mixed in a Magic Bullet) the concentrations in any given amount are widely disparate.
I hate to think of the repercussions of this bill if it becomes law.
My son, Sean experienced the side of a possession law, for LSD. Surprisingly, in Vermont possession of LSD is a felony. This charge was reduced but, our son still spent time in the correctional facility along with other misdemeanor charges. He was taken off his psychiatric medications for bipolar depression and left jail in a manic state. He died about a month later.
Jail is not a therapeutic environment.
Please consider that however well-meaning the authors of this legislation, those of us with firsthand knowledge of the system, know this will only make matters worse.
February 22, 2024 Dear Legislator: I appreciate having the opportunity to speak up in support of overdose prevention sites. In 2017 our eldest son Sean, died of an overdose of fentanyl, at age 27. At the time of his overdose, he was at a party celebrating his paycheck, he went to the restroom, and it wasn’t until he had been gone for about 15-20 minutes that his friends noticed that he wasn’t responsive. His friends thought he was showering, he was due to meet us (his parents) for dinner. Sean was revived but suffered brain death. He was removed from life support and donated his heart liver and kidneys. Sean overdosed in downtown Burlington, 2 blocks from where a proposed overdose prevention site is planned. He would have used a site if it was available. Our son was a sporadic user of opiates and stimulants, he was always employed and a contributing member of society. Sean’s substance accelerated while he was in the US Navy, beginning in 2011, he was stationed in Groton, CT at the submarine base. This was the first time I realized he was using opiates, to cope with the stress of military life. He use continued to worsen, eventually leading to a lifetime of use, recovery, frequent hospitalizations and even misdemeanor charges. I have seen how our government responded so favorably to the COVID-19 pandemic. At the time of my our son’s death fentanyl had been widespread for over 2 years. I only wish the opiate crisis had received half the attention that the COVID-19 pandemic has received. We are losing so many young people and no one can recover from substance use if they die of an overdose. I work as a physician in OBGYN and in the substance use field. In addition, I work with newly bereaved parents with a group called Team Sharing Vermont. I’ve witnessed so much loss over the last several years it’s hard to even quantify it in words. I organize an overdose awareness day event yearly to commemorate those lost. I sincerely hate to think of the numbers that we have lost this past year. The science tells us that overdose prevention sites save lives, reduce syringe and paraphernalia litter, and connect people to treatment. I have visited such sites in Canada and found that they are clean, clinic-like atmospheres with warmth and caring staff. I know Vermonters are very compassionate and I hope we can expand this compassion to those who use substances.
for-kindness 