This is Sean’s Mom, Kim. It has been a little over 6 months since Sean died. It has been up and down, of course. We (Sean’s Dad ,Brother and I) got though the holidays, not great.. Now it’s his birthday month. My insomnia has returned, the tears are flowing. For some reason this birthday month is harder than I expected. We have had many positive events, a good presentation to community task force with the mayor, the police department, health department, hospital representatives…. Great conversations with elected officials. Even some significant hope of improvement in mental health treatment in our town and in our state.
Maybe because his birthday is so special for our family. A day with many wonderful memories. A few not so great ones. OK that time when Sean was homeless and I met him at a burger place to get him some food, no that one wasn’t great. He was really angry and difficult that night. However, most of the other birthdays were good. He would often rally for birthdays and even some holidays. It wasn’t until later in the spring when the mania would start, then the substance use. That’s when the transition would come, March OK, April not great, May and June horrible. So maybe it’s anticipatory grief?? or maybe I am just really sad to have lost someone so beloved.