Incarceration, where is the “care”?

Some of the most difficult memories are those of jail, incarceration was a constant threat for Sean, whether in the Navy, during a relapse or even in his home state of  Vermont.

As I write this I keep misspelling incarceration, I keep trying to put “care” in there. No, there isn’t “care” in incarceration…

This is one of Sean’s first letters from Riker’s island. His life was saved here, an abscess in his ankle was treated. At the time of his arrest, he could barely walk. He was caught stealing soap and toothpaste from a Walgreen’s in midtown. He couldn’t run due to the condition of his leg. Sadly, instead of being sent to a hospital, he was sent to jail. Detoxing on the cold floor of the Manhattan holding center. When he got to Riker’s he did receive methadone and treatment for his abscess. I just have to wonder if, life might have been better if he was able to go to a hospital and treatment instead. As a family, we tried to get him to treatment, however, the DA would only allow transfer to a six month 50,000.00 facility, which we couldn’t afford…

July  from Riker’s Island

Hey Mom:

Well, this sucks a little bit. I don’t understand why this happened yet. Maybe, I’m not supposed to but, after I do my time, will get most of the Fall to hike together and get ready for ski season. Train with Ned, find a job, start contributing a paycheck to my family, rather than stealing your time, love and money.

Maybe, I can learn to give a little bit.

I’m going to miss you. I hope my cases in the Bronx hold a lighter sentence. If all goes well, I will be ready for detox in 50 days. I am going to try to get off the methadone. I only got it to make the hell of jail a little easier.

Whatever happens I know will have Christmas together. Somehow, I just know. We might miss Five Guys day, if I get more time but, I’d like to go to lunch with you on October22nd. I’ll put it in my DAY PLANNER.

After, I make a DAYPLANNER, something to count down the days.

I’m sorry I’m putting you through this. I’m sorry for everything right now.

Love, Seanner T

Many of Sean’s writings are lost. I have many cards, and many letters from jail….Seanrikersjulypg1Seanrikersjulypg1Seanrikersjulypg2

Author: for-kindness

Sean Blake, my son was 27 when he died from an accidental overdose. Sean was for kindness. Writings, poems, and posts to keep his spirit alive. His story is shared to heighten up awareness of the effect of mental illness and substance use disorder.

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