Post bail November, 2015

Dear Mom.

I love you. You brought me into this world, gave me everything I ever needed and most of what I wanted for years. I’ve abused and manipulated your kindness and love. I never did treatment, I wasted your money. I tried to steal from you. I’m just a lech on everyone. I have been nice and kind and loving like you but, it was an act to get what I want.I am right where I need to be and will be for years.I don’t want to fight anymore….I’m not going to get what I want and that is a lesson I need to learn, you don’t always get what you want.I wanted you to post bail, I was really ready for change..I will not fight anymore, I will sit in prison and do nothing.I want to blame the police, the bullying and PTSD but, they only play a small role. At the end of the day we make our own beds, our own luck, and I will try and be the best man I can be.I want to be like you, successive (sic), loving, hardworking and have a true purpose.

THANK YOU for being my role model and my friend.

Your son, Sean

(Excerpts from a letter from Sean, I edited out some more personal pieces from the letter, I don’t think he would want them published. I am very sad reading this, how down on himself he was. He was worn out and tired, angry at himself. He had recently broken into our home and threatened his brother and myself. I doubt he would have really hurt us. He picked up his belongs and moved into a friends. Unfortunately, the friend was admitted to the hospital for psychiatric reasons and the young man’s family not knowing Sean had permission to stay at his place, called the police for trespassing. We didn’t post bail and Sean stayed in jail until he could get to treatment a month or so later. My most significant regrets involve not working harder to get better psychiatric treatment and less jail time. Our family was just completely worn out)

post bail pg1
post bail pg2 editlgt

Author: for-kindness

Sean Blake, my son was 27 when he died from an accidental overdose. Sean was for kindness. Writings, poems, and posts to keep his spirit alive. His story is shared to heighten up awareness of the effect of mental illness and substance use disorder.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s